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It’s a little known fact, probably hidden by the marketing wizards at Disney, that Snow White was frigid. The name was deliberate, not a coincidence. She was a certifiable bitch, and she made those dwarfs pay for it. She’d kick them when the director wasn’t looking; she’d tie their shoelaces together, she’d spit in their tiny lunchboxes before they left for the mine. Every weekend, Snow White and the Wicked Witch would go out to the local bar and get shit-faced. She had no love for anything, unless it contained alcohol, and lots of it.
There were celebrations on the set when she went into her deep sleep. Parties, barbeques, balloons. The dwarfs would stand on their tippy-toes, reach up to the bed and pinch Snow White’s legs, arms. Make-up had their hands full, whiting out the bruises before shooting.
Most people don’t know it, but ten years ago, Snow White died in Key West, alone and pickled. She left behind only her stuffed rottweiler and a will that required her to be buried in red lace with seven dwarf hats tied to her feet. Her headstone reads, “I got the best of you, you frigging midgets. Eat my shorts.”
isbn 1-59661-073-5
38 pages/$9
“David James is a hardass with a big ole heavy heart. If he writes it, you better believe it. He means it. And he means it with the subjects he explores and with the artistry he brings to bear on every poem.”
—Jack Ridl, author of Broken Symmetry
“I’ve been a fan of David James’ and his excellent work for over two decades and can say—without hesitation—that here is a true original. Whether in prose or poetry…the results are always striking, sometimes scary, often hilarious, and well worth the read.”
—Judith Minty, author of Walking with the Bear
“These wise and humorous prose poems stun us with their illuminations of family, love, marriage, loneliness, sex, and creativity. James is a master of metamorphosis, literalizing his metaphors to recover the wondrous in the quotidian. Read this original book.”
—Peter Stine, former editor of Witness magazine
David James has published a book of poems, A Heart Out of This World (Carnegie Mellon University), and three chapbooks, Do Not Give Dogs What Is Holy, I Dance Back, and I Will Peel This Mask Off (March Street Press). His one-act plays have been produced off-Broadway, in Massachusetts and Michigan. He teaches at Oakland Community College.